Over
the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned
is "happiness." I'm not sure if we know what happiness is or when we
have accomplished this goal. I just read a book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman.
He is a psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The
following are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think
about them and add your comments.
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your postings have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
The future, and our results therein, are 100% in our control. We are not a little boat on the ocean, reliant on winds and currents to toss us in a random direction.
ReplyDeleteOur attitude (feelings) affects our behaviors and actions. An attitude of poverty and failure will beget struggle in life. An attitude of worth will beget success. Accepting responsibility for the results we've created thus far is key in acknowledging where our attitudes might or might not be serving us, and adopt a better attitude.
Developing desire toward specific goals is essential. "A human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, nothing can resist a will which will stake even existence upon its fulfillment." - Benjamin Disraeli. Desire is that emotion which turns thoughts into actual creation, and it is a learned emotion, based on imagery and repetition. Classes like this remind us to focus on those desires and to take a bite out of the road to our goals.
Mahatma Ghandi once said, "Man is at the center of a circle with an unlimited circumference." What he meant was that we are without limits. The only limits we have are self-imposed. The only glass ceilings are the ones we conceive of and build over ourselves. We are our thoughts. We are what we tell ourselves we are. "I AM .....?" What are we telling ourselves?
"I AM tired." "I AM someone who suffers from depression." "I AM a C student."
***OR***
"I AM happy." "I AM successful." "I AM a LEADER."
Happiness isn't something to work on. It's a change of attitudes and thoughts. It's being open to possibilities, taking personal responsibility for the results in our lives, creating desire in goals we want to achieve, and working toward those goals. It's being grateful for what we have now and for the (sometimes difficult) lessons we've learned in our journey. It's being mindful, and appreciating the moment. It's using positive "I AMs" in our internal dialogue.
For the future,
I AM diligently pursuing my goals.
I AM mindful of the present moment, and enjoying the now.
I AM having fun with my son, and letting him know its fun to be happy, positive, and cultivating desire in goals.
I AM aware of my inner dialogue, and keeping negative thoughts at bay.
I AM aware of my choices, and am making choices which lead me in the direction of my goals. I will not make choices which would work against my efforts.
I AM grateful.
Thank you for sharing your insight on positive self talk. I am currently realizing just how important this is and have been trying to correct myself! I appreciate you sharing so many statements, even reading your post helped me put the thoughts into my own head! I hope you have success in positive self talk too!
DeleteI appreciate your comments on happiness and taking control of your future. I am sure that you will make good things happen in your future.
DeleteWhat does happiness mean to you?
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is hard to find happiness now in these days. I thought happiness is when you are rich, you have a happy life because when you are rich you can do anything and be happy. For example, travel, buy clothes, and have a perfect car. I was like why am I not rich, why I don’t have a nice car. Then I realized and noticed that many people are rich, but they are not happy or don’t have a happy life because half of them have diseases or something else. However, I noticed that happiness is not because of money when I lost my dad. Happiness could be when you have all your family around you and celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas together. Happiness is when you graduate and finish school and become the person that you have dreamed of. Happiness could be when you sleep and relaxed. Probably you won't believe this but the other day at work, one of my co-worker made me laugh so bad and I was about to cry because I have never laughed like that before and I felt I so happy. Trust me small things can make you happy. Overall, my happiness is when I see my family happy.
That is so true, it is important to be humble for the little things in life! I also agree that happiness is when you are sleeping or relaxing. I wish I could sleep better, it is a happy place. Remember hating having to take a nap as a kid? I would love to be able to take a nap during the day now, but there is too much to do as an adult, and in my case as a parent.! That is awesome that you find happiness in the little things, sometime that's all that we have!
DeleteI appreciate your comments about happiness. They are a good reminder that the most important thing to appreciate during the holidays are our family and the people in our lives.
DeleteMy thoughts can help me to be successful in college and in my career when my thoughts are positive I feel successful and I accomplish my goals the way that I always picture the them in my mind and that what I always try to do and to be I can not be successful when I feel down or upset However when my thoughts are negative I feel like I am such looser and I am not able to move from my place I feel like I am no able to do or to thing of anything and my future is nothing
ReplyDeleteI agree with Be an optimist because being the optimist is really something that makes me feel happy about my life I agree with Think positively which is something I regularly do in my life I think about things positively which help me to my best to accomplish my thoughts I also agree with Accomplish your goals this one is the best because I know what I want and I am trying to do my best to achieve what I hoped for finally I agree with Take care of your body because when I gain weight I really feel down and upset but when I lose weight I feel the best feeling ever
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for the future. You are on your way to success.
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ReplyDeleteHappiness for me is being able to look at where I am in life and being satisfied but also still chanting more success. I also look find joy in the title things in life such as enjoying a car ride or a walk around the neighbor hood. Because that's what it takes for me to be happy with where I am in life. Sometimes I find myself getting over whelmed with school, work, and my relationship I can't help but feel a little stressed and therefore not happy, but when this happens I try to enjoy the little things in life and dwell on I the pressure I am under. Also life is very good to me at some points too. Life's like a roller coaster, there's a lot of ups, downs and plateaus so you might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride because you only get to do this life thing once. Happiness means to me but at the same time being sad makes you feel alive and it also takes a person to reach a real low point in there lives to really appreciate true happiness. Happiness doesn't have to be a grand gesture or buying a lot of materialistic things that society convinces you need to be happy, its about living each day and trying to improve you self and also just being grateful for what you have already done for yourself. I appreciate the words of Seligman because although we say some of those ideas to ourselves everyday its good to read that people go through the same thing as each other everyday, the struggle to be happy.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for the future. You are on your way to success.
DeleteWhat does happiness mean to you?
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me simply means surrounding myself with family, friends, education, sports, and my religion. The are several reasons to why I define this as happiness. Life may be difficult, but my family and friends make it easier to get through any inconveniences I may be facing. They are always here for me and support me with every step I take. Achieving our education may be the reason we are all taking classes. Being able to accomplish my career goals is another reason for happiness. We may become overwhelmed the daily tasks of life but hobbies can take the weight off our shoulders. Personally playing soccer helps me relieve stress and when I step onto the field I do not have to worry about anything but the game. The whole reason playing brings me happiness because it reminds of times when I was younger and could accomplish anything during 90 minutes. My religion always makes me happy, but that my personal preference. Happiness to me means these five things that I surround myself with. We must appreciate everything we have because it all of the small things in life that bring us happiness. These are some of the main things of what happiness means to me.
It is great that you have figured out what makes you happy. You are on your way to success.
DeleteHappiness means many different things to me. I have had an interesting past, one that was filled with many challenges and low points. I can look back on my past and proudly say that I am not sleeping in the streets anymore, I am not doing hard drugs anymore, I even quit drinking for good about 50 days ago. All of these things in my past that have happened to me are simply that, in the past! I made it out alive from some pretty crazy events. Now I can move forward with honor and pride, living my life to the fullest with everything I do. I am ecstatic for completing another college semester, and being a few steps closer to getting my degree. That is my happiness and focus right now. I have my daughter and my husband they are worth all of the struggles and pain that comes with getting a degree. I work hard now to research healthy alternatives for my family, attempting to eliminate poisons and toxicity from our lives so that we can all live a long life together. My family and my education/future career is everything to me that means happiness.
ReplyDeleteMichelle Pendergrass
Delete-I don't know why my computer doesn't have my name with my post anymore but I am the author :)
I again congratulate you for taking the difficult steps to get your life back on track. You are on the way to success and happiness. Keep going.
DeleteHappiness is something that is permanent. But that is not true.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is indeed a very puzzling emotion when you think about it.
I would like to think happiness is by the simplest things....life is already hard and if anything simple can make me smile then at least I can be positive for good things to come.
I wish happiness could be permanent..but then again I guess it was not meant to be gained and maintained so easily, I guess that is what drives us to work hard to seek our dreams, I guess that is what makes us learn valuable lessons and experiences in life... who knew happiness is not just about a smile on the face but leaves out doors of knowledge to other things as well.
Happiness is caring about life. Caring about your friends. The relaxation of the mind. Being care-free and easy.
I appreciate your comments on happiness. You are on your way to a happy and successful life.
DeleteThis class has been personally amazing to me. It has taught me so much about life and real life concepts that ill use throughout any future. Unlike other subjects i will actually use these concepts in real life and will help me through many problems that may occur with school, family and friends, and work. I am very thankful i had the opportunity of exploring this class and trying new things. I also noticed i had done significantly better on my before and after testing and noticed i have procrastinated a lot less, got my work done right and on time, and i was even able to spend more time studying and doing homework in this class and my other classes. Overall, this was a very fun and interesting class that i would definitely recommend to a friend that is in need about exploring their future. Thank you so much for the experience Mrs. Fralick i hope you enjoy whatever the future has to offer. And as for any changes, criticism, or improvements, i can honestly say i don't have any, it was an amazing class! thank you again.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comments on the course. It makes my life happier to see that my students have learned something of value to their future lives. It was a pleasure having you in this course.
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ReplyDeleteI appreciate your comments about happiness. You are on your way to a happy and successful life. Keep going.
DeleteHappiness to me means fulfillment and being content. You may be content with where you are, who you are, who you are with, or maybe even what you have accomplished. Also, along the way in life, there are goals that you set for yourself. There may be big goals like finding a life partner or graduating from college with a certain degree, or there may be small goals like making it to the end of the work week and making deadlines on assignments. Each gives us a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment of those goals. They help build up our confidence and how we see ourselves, giving us a bigger sense of who we are and that brings us joy.
ReplyDeleteAt this point in my life, I am completely happy. I have a goal in life to appreciate every day that I get, every day that I get with my family, every day that I am healthy and alive, and every day that I get to spend with my significant other. Those are all blessings that leave me feeling content with what I have. I accomplish those goals every day and I am so lucky to have just those under my belt. I am happy.
I enjoyed reading your comments about happiness and appreciating each day. You are on your way to a happy and successful life. Keep going.
DeleteFor me happiness isn't something that can be bought. Many celebrities who are rich and have almost anything they want aren't happy with their lives. Happiness for me is about good health, and being with ones you love. Being in good health is so important to me and it is something many people take for granted. There are millions of people with terminal diseases and other sicknesses that would give anything to be healthy. Family is also important because it's a unbreakable bond of unconditional love with people that are willing to go to the ends of the earth for you .
ReplyDeleteI appreciated reading your comments on happiness and think you are on the right track. Many rich people are not happy. Being healthy and appreciating family are much more important.
DeleteHappiness to me is being around the people I love. I love seeing kids playing together and they seem to not have a care in the world and they just look so happy and seems like nothing can bring them down. I wish I could live like that everyday. It's about enjoying the moment in the now rather then the future. For me to be happy I want to have my family, my health, and a joy for living. Happiness to me is being able to reach my goals of helping others and traveling. I will be moving to Oregon in the beginning of the year and starting a new chapter in my life and that is pure happiness to me. Sometimes in life we take the simplest things that make us happy for granted. I think when things get tough in my life I try to stay positive and honestly it helps me get through the rough patches and ultimately I am happier for it. I think happiness can come just being around people who love and care about you to just being happy just to be alive. Ultimately nobody can make you happier then you can make yourself. In the end life is too short and trying to enjoy every moment of it makes me so happy.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated reading your comments on happiness and that nobody can make you happier than yourself. Best wishes on your future college and career success.
ReplyDelete